


Hidden Truths

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-28
Updated: 2006-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 21:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8073592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: When a mission goes fatally wrong for one of the Enterprise crew, suspicions arise about Trip's true identity. (08/10/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: It's my longest fic yet, but I promise it's a good one! It took me ages to write a decent summary without giving too much away, but I must have managed it because here you are.  


* * *

Charlie Tucker was trapped in a restless dream. Images charged with pain and chaos filled his mind, each of them overlapping the others, leaving no time to take them all in. Trip was used to dreaming but this was different. This was sinister.

The faster the images sped by the more disturbing they became, then without warning, they ceased. But the sudden disappearance of the visions was not because Trip had awoken. Far from it. He was now standing in what could only be described as a 'dreamscape'. Whatever it was, it was reminiscent of the mind-altering drugs training he'd undergone way back when.

Like all dreams, it was vivid but at the same time blurred and distorted. Trip recognised the surroundings as an alien planet, one that he was unfamiliar with. There were three moons in the sky, relatively close together forming a basic triangle shape. They were visible even though a sun's glare spilled over the opposite horizon. He was standing in an alley of some sort, with buildings either side that seemed to be flickering in and out like static was interfering with them.

But it wasn't the sights that chilled Trip from head to toeâ€”it was the feeling. The feeling that something terrible, something catastrophically devastating was going to happen. Soon. A shocking blend of fear and anguish hit Trip like a speeding freighter. The light, which had previously gone unnoticed by Trip, was now wavering with the image as it flickered like a beating heart. Next, just as a song is composed of layers upon layers, more images appeared, this time of people running and screaming. They too were wavering, as was the pattern of the dream. Sounds came next, accompanying the images of the people with their screams and cries.

It was only then that Trip became aware of himself as a physical entity in the dream. The only urge he had was to turn around as the fluctuations of all the 'layers' within the scape became faster and faster. Trip followed his urge to turn, helplessly and saw something that would plagued him with shock.

There, lying on the dusty floor of the alley was a body. Shrouded with brown coloured robes Trip recognised the still figure to be that of a dear friend.  
Hoshi.

* * *

Consciousness came abruptly after the unsettling dream Trip had experienced. I always thought you were s'posed to sit upright and be covered in sweat after bad dreams. He thought nonchalantly, before recalling the full impact of the last image. Trip knew better than to not take his dreams seriously. They had saved him on more than one occasion.

Looking over at the clock he realised that it wasn't long to his shift, and forced himself to get up and dressed. The only thing to do was forget the dream. It wasn't as if he could tell the others. They wouldn't comprehend the importance of the visions even if he did tell them, and anything to hint to his true identity was too big a risk.

The dream proved more difficult to shake than Trip had imagined. Eventually binding it to the depths of his memory, he was still left feeling on edge. No sooner had he left his quarters, Jonathon called his name. Trip was visibly startled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Jon smiled.

"You didn't. I'm just a little edgy this mornin'." Trip asserted, regaining his composure.

"Any particular reason?" Jon inquired.

"Not that I'm aware of." Trip lied. He didn't like lying to the Captain but it was necessary sometimes, for his own protection.

"I was just heading to the mess hall now, care to join me?" Jon said changing the subject (Which Trip was internally grateful for.)

"Nah, I have a shift. We still on for dinner tonight though?"

"Duck in orange sauce." Jon replied with a grin.

"Sounds good. I can't wait." Trip matched his Captain's smirk before T'Pol's voice sounded from the com.

"T'Pol to Captain Archer."

Jon went over to the wall and pressed the com. "Yes T'Pol, what is it?"

"We are receiving a hail which originates from a nearby planet. It appears the native race is warp-capable and wishes to meet us."

The smile on Jon's face broadened even more. "Care to join me now?"

* * *

When Trip and Jon arrived on the bridge there was a stir of excitement in the atmosphere. It was the norm for the Enterprise to be the ones contacting other species. To be hailed by one requesting a meeting was a pleasant surprise.

No-one noticed Trip staring a little longer than usual at Hoshi. Her face was illuminated with a bright cheerfulness and Trip's mind immediately reverted back to the dream. There Hoshi had been silent and still, bled dry of all life.

After the usual morning greetings T'Pol began the briefing and Trip came back to reality. "The planet is named Rigis Jata. Other than some relatively harmless gases present in the atmosphere, the planet will cater to our biological needs." T'Pol began. It was all very interesting but not what the others wanted to hear. The new species were of a much higher interest. Nevertheless, they humoured the Vulcan science officer while she went on about the planet. "Rigis Jata resides in the Ferra system. The system has two suns, Regis orbits the larger of the two. It has three moonsâ€”"

At that moment Trip lost control of his train of thought. Three moons. He tried to convince himself that it must be a coincidence. But trying to persuade yourself of something you knew to be untrue was intensely difficult. When Trip managed to tune back in to T'Pol's monotone voice she was talking about the native beings of Rigis Jata. "The race is named the Nistet. They are an advanced humanoid species and though they are warp-capable, they do not chose to utilize their technology a great deal." T'Pol began. It seems they prefer to talk toâ€”"

"Passers-by?" Jon interjected playfully.

"Quite." T'Pol replied. She suspected the Captain was not so subtly informing her that it was time to cease talking. She was becoming far more aware of the human's often bizarre tendencies to side-step the true meaning of their words. It seemed like a pointless practice, to shy away from offending others. But then, offence boiled down to hurt feelings, something of which T'Pol knew little about.

"Hoshi, you go the language down?"

"Yes Sir, the Nistet dialect is relatively primitive. The translator really did most of the work for me."

She didn't say, but Archer guessed that Hoshi felt almost cheated. She prided herself in her work and unique abilities and she'd just been robbed of the opportunity of learning a difficult new language. Jon just smiled outwardly at his own thoughts and continued with the topic of discussion.

"Whaddaya say? Is it worth a minor course change?" Jon asked openly, and expected the same reply from everyone. (Every human anyhow.)

"Maybe we could swing by." Malcolm said.

"Alright then. Travis, set a course." Jon ordered. Hoshi returned to her post, as did Reed. "T'Pol, you said there some, uh, relatively harmless gases in the atmosphere?"

"The air on the surface contains Hytodrexin, a form of toxin that the Nistet have adapted to. It is sparse but we should not be affected if the landing party sees the Doctor for an injection.

"Thanks." Jon nodded and T'Pol left the bridge. "Ugh, jabs. I knew there had to be a down-side."

"Well let's hope jabs are the worst thing that happens." Trip replied sincerely and went to catch up to T'Pol.

"T'Pol." He called when he caught up. For someone quite short, she sure did walk fast.

"Yes, Commander." The Vulcan answered blandly.

"Uh...You said Rigis Jata has three moons?"

"That is correct. They are namedâ€”" T'Pol began before being swiftly cut short.

"That doesn't matter. From the surface, would they form any interesting shapes or patterns?" Trip asked as non-commitally as he could manage.

"Many." The Vulcan replied, unsure of what Trip was asking of her.

"Never mind." He dismissed, realising the questions he wanted to ask would raise more from her than it was worth. T'Pol raised her eyebrow. Trip was certain that if she were human, she would have said 'Whatever.' before walking away. Trip quickly went back to engineering to do a little research. After clearing up the minor jobs that had surfaced during his absence, Trip made his way over to a screen beside him. After tapping a few buttons speedily, the three moons of Rigis Jata (Ama, Tist and Tora-Maanet) appeared. After hitting a few more buttons Trip had created a basic simulation that showed the moons rotations over a short period of time, and what they would look like from the surface. It did not take long at all for a triangular shape to appear. Looking over at the date and time the shape would occur, Trip was not at all pleased to find that the same triangle pattern that had been so prominent in his earlier vision would be happening very soon. The twisted dream had indeed been a vision. The fear and panic, the people (Whom Trip now concluded to be Nistet) screaming in terror and the worst image of allâ€”Hoshi, bordering on deathâ€”it would all come to pass unless Trip could somehow prevent it. But Trip knew better than anyone that time was not to be tampered with.

* * *

The journey to Rigis Jata went painfully quickly. Before he knew what was going on, Trip found himself standing with Jon. T'Pol, Malcolm and Hoshi in the launch bay getting ready to leave on a shuttle. Everyone had received their injections from Phlox, but that didn't stump their enthusiasm.

Trip had tried everything short of breaking Hoshi legs to keep her on the ship but to no avail. There she was, standing with that look of excitement and innocence plastered on her face. Under normal circumstances Trip might've felt the same wayâ€”but these weren't normal circumstance. Hoshi and the others were completely unaware of the danger she was in (or would be in) if she were to go down to the surface.

Since Trip had run out of reasons why the translator should stay onboard Enterprise (and Hoshi was, quite frankly, getting mildly offended at his efforts) he swore internally that he would never leave Hoshi's side while they were down there. That much would have to do.

"You're clear for launch Sir." Travis said over the com.

"Thanks Travis." Jon replied informally. "Shall we?" T'Pol and Hoshi climbed into the shuttle first, closely followed by Malcolm. "Are you alright?"

The question had caught Trip off-guard, right in the middle of the mental pact he was making with himself. "What?" Came that time-buying beauty of a word. Trip used the opportunity to regain his posture.

"You've been virtually silent since we've been down here, are you okay?" Jon repeated.

Trip always admired his Captain's ability to relinquish his own feelings when it came to others. Trip let himself smile at this fact and masqueraded it as a reply. "Yeah, fine."

Jon looked at his companion in perplexity. He had known Trip so long he almost expected a wisecrack of some kind to follow, but it didn't. Maybe this was one of those times where 'Yeah, I'm fine' actually meant 'I'm not fine at all but I don't want to talk about it.' He understood, of courseâ€”everyone had moments like that.

"After you then." Jon compelled and the two men climbed into the shuttle. Trip couldn't shake the unsettling sensation that he wouldn't be seeing Enterprise again any time soon.

* * *

Rigis Jata wasn't as homely as it had apparently been on the view-screen aboard Enterprise, Malcolm commented when the shuttle landed. The planet was indeed, rather rundown and well, dilapidated. The architecture looked neglected, as if it were going to collapse any second.

Everyone made their inward observations, but Trip had already seen enough. He already knew that Rigis was the place from his vision, but seeing it actually forced a sense of finality upon him. There were no doubts now. The three moons, arranged in the triangular shape, ridiculed Trip from orbit.

"Hello, I am Noma,"

Each crewman immediately put on their diplomat faces (With the exception of T'Pol, who permanently wore her diplomat face) and turned to see Noma, the origin of the greeting.

Noma was human in most respects, like many of the other species the crew had come across, with slight differences. Noma had a slight golden tint to his skin and eyes, shock white hair and a halo-like bone around his head. Jon poured out the usual introductions and polite greetings that had become ritual and Noma led them into one of the nearby broken-down buildings. Inside was only marginally less dilapidated.

Noma went on about his culture and some other Nistet (Who looked almost identical to Noma) introduced themselves. Trip was starting to feel at ease when another Nistet entered. This one was set apart from the others by his clothing. It was more elaborate than the others they had encountered.

"Telen!" Noma excalimed, clearly surprisedâ€”but not in a good wayâ€”to see him.  
Telen pulled Noma away and whispered. Trip instinctively tuned his ear into the utterance.

"We don't have much time. The generator is almost at an irreversible level, hurry this along." He muttered threateningly.

Without thinking, Trip heard himself say "What generator?" In a more than curious tone.

Noma and the other looked momentarily alarmed, then calmed themselves. Trip received some odd looks from the othersâ€”they evidently hadn't heardâ€”but Trip guessed the Nistet put his unusual hearing capabilities down to a human trait.

"We wanted this to wait, but it seems there is little time to do so. You must come with me now, I need your help." Noma told them.

"I'm sure we can see what we can do." Jon put carefully. He didn't want to make any promises he could not keep or commitments he couldn't carry through.

"I'm afraid you have no choice." And just like that, the tables turnedâ€”or rather, Telen did. He pulled out what was unmistakeably a weapon, and three others around him followed suit. "There is no time for discussion. You will come with me."

The five were stripped of their communicators and weapons swiftly. Jon sighed inwardly. Just for once, he would like to meet a civilisation that were, well, civilised. People who actually told the truth and didn't try to kill them for a change.

The five crewmembers were led forcibly out of the building and through an alley, into another. This one was also fatigued with age, it's walls were almost completely blackened by an unseen pollution and two turrets billowing a gas of some kind protruded from the roof.

Jon made his usual attempts to try to control the situation and when they failed, T'Pol stepped in with her trademark logic but this too was flagged down by their captors who didn't want to know. When they reached their destination (Inside the factory building and past numerous panicked Nistet) Telen, finally spoke again.

"This is the generator for our entire planet. Hundreds of our best engineers have not been able to fix it and it's going to explode." He said. He seemed more agitated than worried. "You will fix it." He ordered.

Engineering, that'd be my department. Great. Trip thought irritably. Telen strode off.

"Where are you going? You can't leave us here!" Malcolm shouted before Jon got the chance.

"I shall do what I please." Telen spat.

And before anyone could act, the room was sealed and everyone was gone.

* * *

"Why can't we ever meet anyone nice." Hoshi muttered. Trip mused at the out-of-character remark. Hoshi usually took threatening situations deathly serious. Lord knows they'd been in a lot of them.

"Trip, see what you can do, we'll look for ways out of here. Hoshi, see if you can find out how long we have till this thing blows. Spread out." Jon ordered.

It was when the ground shook that the severity of the situation really sunk in. Trip approached the colossal machine not knowing where to start. Panels lined it's rounded walls so Trip pressed them randomly. There was no way he could figure out something this complicated in years let along however long they hadâ€”judging by the alarms and the quakes, Trip guessed it wasn't that long.

"These doors are sealed." T'Pol shouted.

"These too." Jon answered. "Damnit if they can't fix their own generator, what makes them think we can? And why the hell aren't they evacuating. T'Pol, you said they had warp capability?"

"Yes, but I don't believe they can evacuate. This technology clearly does not belong to the Nistet. I doubt their ships do either."

"What do you mean?"

"While they appear to have been using the generator for some time, I doubt anyone knows how it works. It was probably here when the Nistet arrived on this planet."

"How can you tell?"

"It was a logical deduction. Firstly, a warp capable species that doesn't travel is highly irregular." The Vulcan stated while continuing to search for a way out.

"Why would they build the technology if thy weren't going to use it?" Reed surmised.

"Quite. And secondly, this generator must be very advanced to power an entire planet."

"Yeah, and to make one hell of a big explosion." Trip reminded urgently.

"How are you doing? Can you fix it?" Jon finally acknowledged and went to Trip's side.

"Give me a month, and I wouldn't even be able to turn it off." The engineer replied, his patented humour-in-dire-situations seeping through.

"If the generator explodes not only will it kill us, it will destroy the entire planet and most likely cripple anything in close orbit." T'Pol declared. Jon's mind became one-track for a spilt second. Enterprise. It was one thing that these assholes were in all likelihood going to get him and four of his finest officers killed, it was another to lure his ship into orbit knowing full well of the repercussions. All in all, Jon did not much like the Nistet.

"Sir, I've found a door I think I can open, but I'll need some help." Malcolm shouted, saving Jon from coming up with some difficult orders.

T'Pol and Archer immediately went to Malcolm's side and slotted their hands through the small gap in the door. "We'd better hurry." Hoshi called from a panel a small way away. Her voice had a critical tone to it that Jon did not like one bit. When she continued he realised that it was justified.

"If I'm reading this right," She began. "we have less than one minute to get out of here."

* * *

"Even if we get out now we'll never get clear in time, and Enterprise will still be in danger." Malcolm muttered aloud.

"Lieutenant that is not helping." Jon retorted. He was right, but there was no need to tell everyone else that.

Trip concluded it was pointless trying to fix the generator and that his efforts would be better put to use trying to pry the door open with the others. When he got to the huddled group he was disappointed with their progress. The gap was barely wide enough to fit everyone's fingers through. Trip would have to make it look believable if he was going to open the door. He found what little space there was in between Hoshi and Malcolm and crammed himself into it.

"Okay, we've got to do this right. On three." He announced. His motivational skills would be much more conceivable than the truth.

Jon did the honour of counting.

1...

Remember Trip, not too hard, we don't want break anyone's fingers now do we?

2...

Okay, here we go

3...

Now!

Controlling his strength just enough was more difficult than Trip had expected, nevertheless the door was moving gradually open. He mimicked the stressed out, screwed up faces of his friends as they pulled with all their might, every muscle stretched to the limit. It was working.

The door was open just enough for someone to fit through sidewards. Jon ushered Hoshi through first, then Malcolm, T'Pol and Trip. He didn't need to tell them to run like hellâ€”that part was innate. Each of them had already decided on the planâ€”get back to the shuttle and warn Enterprise.

Running, quite literally, for their lives, everyone was moving at breakneck speeds until another quake slowed them. Not entirely, but enough to part T'Pol, Jon and Malcolm with Trip and Hoshi. One of the derelict building lurched and this luckily did not go unnoticed by Trip. He yanked Hoshi out of harms way and the building collapsed in a shower of weighty rubble and dust.

When her instincts told her it was safe to open her eyes, Hoshi looked at the scene before her. A random building that had been standing only moments ago was now reduced to a heap of cloudy debris that completely blocked their path.

They were now cut off from the others, and there was no way round.

Jon swerved, his senses screaming at him that something was wrong. His visual scan of the surroundings told him exactly whatâ€”No Hoshi. No Trip. A helluva lot of rubble.

"Trip! Hoshi!" He shouted, frantically. Had they been crushed? Were they alive under all that debris? God, why had he let them out of his sight?

The others were now alerted to the situation but didn't quite know how to react.

"Captain we must leave now." T'Pol called back.

"I won't leave anyone behind!"

"If Commander Tucker and Ensign Sato are still alive they will no doubt find a way back to the shuttle. We should leave, now."

* * *

"This way! We have to find a way round!" Trip yelled. He knew Jon would realise sooner or later that he couldn't reach them and go back to the shuttle anyway. With any luck they would already be there by then.

Trip could not help but wonder if he had beaten the prophetic dream. Was Hoshi meant to get crushed by the rubble? If so, he had saved her, but as far as Trip was concerned, Hoshi was not safe until she was back on Enterprise. And Trip would get her back to Enterprise, even if it killed him.

"I must have been wrong about how much time we have, the generator should have exploded by now." Hoshi said between short breaths.

"I'm not complaining." Trip mused while he stopped and tried to work out where they were. Each alley the pair went down looked identical, and with the quakes occurring more and more frequently, the landscape became more and more dangerous. Trip had pulled Hoshi from danger on more than one occasion, and she had returned the favours. But the frequent structural collapses had turned them around too, and now they were entirely lost.

"Haven't we been down here before?" Hoshi asked, reading Trip's mind.

"I don't know, they all look the same."

"You, over there!" A third voice called. It wasn't one of the others though. It was three of the Nistet, and they didn't look too happy. "We heard you came here in a starship." One of them said as they approached.

Trip didn't like where this was going. "That's right."

"You will take us to it."

Man, these guys don't waste any time. Trip thought whimsically as he silently the situation. "I can't do that."

"We will all die if we don't get off this planet. You WILL take us to your starship!"

"I meant, I can't take you because it's already gone." Trip said as calmly as he could. The last thing he wanted was to aggravate some aliens with those nasty-looking guns. Mind you, they already looked pretty aggravated

"What do you mean?" One of them pressed

"My Captain left us here. The starship has gone." Trip lied, but it seemed the lie was just as harmful as the truth.

"YOU LIE!!!" One of them screamed and pulled a weapon on him. Trip wasted no time disarming him with a sharp kick but the Nistet were evidently a lot stronger than they looked. He lunged forward, and the two stumbled back into the wall of a building. The Nistet knew his biology and fastened his hands around Trip's throat. Were it not for Trip's concealed traits, his neck might have been crushed, the alien's grip was so strong.

But his concerns were not for himself. Even as the Nistet tried to choke the life out of him his mind was on Hoshi. She had picked up the gun and shot one of the Nistetâ€”the other was wrestling her for the weapon.

Trip used a handy little manoeuvre (That only involved him dislodging one or two bones) to thrust his assailant back while Hoshi was otherwise occupied. He tried to help her, to get past the staggering Nistet but it seemed his adversary had recovered faster than Trip anticipated and grabbed him from behind. He felt his ribs crack, like a tonne of weights had been dropped on his chest, when the Nistet swung him hard into another wall.

It was only then that Trip really got angry. With one swift movement, like it was nothing but a simple everyday exercise, he snapped his foe's neck. There was a moment of bizarre pride blended in with the adrenaline when the Nistet's limp body sank to the ground but this was hurriedly shunted aside by a choked voice.

"Trip..."

Hoshi

When he turned the world fell away.

The Nistet Hoshi had been struggling against had pushed her to the ground. She was staring at him with a dead fear, a look that told that she somehow already knew what was about to happen. The gun was pointed at her head and in that split second there was nothing but Hoshi and the gun, and Trip, a helpless observer, witnessing what was already decided..

In that split second Trip wanted with every inch of his soul that this was all some elaborate nightmare, that maybe he had never awoken from the menacing vision of the same morning. In that tiny measurement of time, Trip was seeing Hoshi's last breath.

The gun fired and the second was over.

"NO!"

Trip lost the control he had been keeping now for so long. This alien was too good to have his neck broken, too good to simply die. Trip stared deep into the creature's essence and made him drop the gun. He made it turn to face him, to know what it was like to stare imminent death in the eye. Then Trip plunged his hands into the man's head, moving matter out of the way, folding time minutely, just enough to let the animal know the ultimate pain before he died.

Trip did not hear the roar of pain through his own mind's scream.

* * *

"Hoshi? Hoshi, come on, wake up..." Trip whispered but he feared that the sweet innocent-faced body was already empty of life. Her skin was colder to the touch, there was no mistaking his own sensesâ€”no matter how much he craved them to be untrue. She wasn't breathing, there was no pulse. The dark red liquid seeped through her clothing and was held their by it's fibres, while some oozed onto the floor, and onto Trip as he cradled her.

How could he let this happen?

"Why the hell d'you show me if you knew I couldn't change it?!" He shouted into the air, not entirely sure who he was talking to. How cruel, to torture him by showing Hoshi's death in a twisted dream when there was nothing he could do to prevent it?

Another shudder reminded him mockingly that there were grander problems to be concerned aboutâ€”though Trip certainly didn't feel that way. But his survival instincts pushed him to gather Hoshi's still form, his ribs only an insignificant pain compared to the anguish he felt, and head for the shuttle.

* * *

Where are they? They should be here...Malcolm cursed inside his own mind. His thoughts were mirrored by Jon's words.

"They should be here by now."

The three had reached the shuttle and warned Enterprise. They'd now been waiting a good five minutes for the two absent crewmembers. (They gathered Hoshi must have been wrong about the estimated time until the generator blew.)

"Perhaps it took longer than we first assumed to go around the blocked path."  
T'Pol expressed, ever the voice of reason. None of the three wanted to address the mere possibility that Hoshi and Trip could have been buried back under the debris. Sure as hell they weren't going to leave until they were certain.

"Malcolm, how are you holding up?"

"I'll be fine." Malcolm exaggerated. In truth he felt as if a steel band had set up shop in his skull. He had pushed T'Pol out the way of a mass of falling brick and been rewarded for his bravery with a violent tear down the side of his face and a severe blow to the head. The rest of the journey to the shuttle was somewhat of a blur but T'Pol assured him (With little sympathy, or gratitude) that he would be fine once they were back on Enterprise. If we ever get back. Malcolm thought pessimistically while he held a bandage to his wound.

Jon was struggling internally, damning himself for leaving Trip and Hoshi behind, and pretty much raking through all the mistakes he made, the greatest one being to ever trust the Nistet.

Another quake hit. This one was larger and more violent than any of the others. Jon suspected they didn't have long.

"How long do we intend to wait?" T'Pol asked over the noise of more collapsing buildings. Jon made a mental observation that he was surprised any buildings were still standing long enough to fall down, then answered his Vulcan officer.

"Until they get here."

* * *

Trip didn't know what was more painfulâ€”the pressure upon his crushed chest or the fact that he allowed Hoshi to die. The mere fact that his legs were moving at all was surprising seeing as his mind was still back in the alley, at that split second when everything changed.

Trip's sense of direction had returned, as if it were some irrelevant consolation, and he was sure that the shuttle was just ahead. The dust from the last quake had formed a fog that impeded his vision to an extent but it wasn't long before the indisputable shape of the shuttlepod began to form ahead. Trip saw it before Jon and T'Pol saw him. He knew Archer wouldn't leave.

* * *

When a vague shape appeared through the dust, Jon thought he might be seeing thingsâ€”wishful thinking and all that, but when the outline became clearer his mind allowed him to realise what the shapes were. It was definitely Trip, but Hoshi was not walkingâ€”she was being carried. The implications alone were enough for Jon's stomach to clench. She must be seriously hurt.

"Hoshi...is she alright? We need to get her to Enterprise..." He said hurriedly after ushering T'Pol and Trip into the shuttle.

The look on Trip's face could have given Jon the answer but Jon needed to hear it to believe.

"No, it's too late, she's dead."

"Enterprise to shuttle."

"Yes Ensign." T'Pol answered. (She feared no-one else could at that point.)

"I strongly recommend you take off now, I estimate the generator will explode in less than twenty seconds." Travis insisted.

"Acknowledged" T'Pol responded and started the shuttle. They were in the air only moments before the deafening sound and the sea of galloping fire scorched the ground below.

The short return to Enterprise was strangely silent. Jon wordlessly assisted T'Pol pilot the shuttle while Malcolm stared at Hoshi as if willing her to open her eyes. Trip noted his wound. This is all my fault. I knew. I knew and I should have stopped anyone from setting foot on that damn planet. It's my faultâ€”all because I didn't want them to find out who I am. But even them knowing would be better than this.

* * *

Word of Hoshi's death would have already reached the entire crew by now. Jon thought morbidly. I still better make an announcement. He supposed, before denouncing himself for treating Hoshi like some kind of formal task.

Enterprise hadn't been too heavily damaged by the explosion. T'Pol had suggested that the engines be turned off, to prevent any surges. They were still offline, probably a precaution until they could be safely reactivated.

Everyone (bar T'Pol who had gone to the bridge to assess the damage to the Ferra system.) was now in the medical bay being seen to by Phlox. Hoshi lay on the far bed and Phlox was treating Malcolm's head wound. Both men looked distant.

"That should do it. I don't think you have concussion, but you should rest for a few days." Phlox said, detached. "Captain, are you alright?"

 

"I'm fine." Jon answered.

"Commander?"

"Fine."

Phlox scanned the other two men anyway. He knew humans could often be stubborn about their health when it came to more important matters and he understood, nevertheless he had a job to do.

"Mr Tucker you have three broken and two fractured ribs." Phlox said bluntly.

"Huh?" Trip replied, before remembering about his injuries. Somehow they seemed unimportant to him now.

"I can treat them for you." Phlox carried on and went about doing so.

"I know you don't want to talk about it Trip, but I'm going to have to hear it at someâ€”" Jon began, but Trip cut him off. Now was a good a time as any to explain how he got Hoshi killed.

"We were lost. Three Nistet approached us, wanting us to take them to the shuttle. We said you'd already left." He said, cramming the situation into as little words as possible. "They didn't agree." He finished with an empty voice.

"I suggest you all rest for at least three days, you included Captain. I'm done here." Phlox ordered.

The three men left sickbay going through the same thing. They were alike in many respects and different in so many others. But they were all missing something. Something that they would never get back.

* * *

"I know many of you will have heard rumours and speculation about the events on Rigis Jata. It's my duty to inform you that the surface suffered total devastation after the power source for the entire planet overloaded. The Nistet lead us there under false pretenses and Ensign Hoshi Sato...was killed as a result."

"Hoshi was a fine officer. One of the finest I've ever known. She had gifts and talents some of us couldn't even dream of, but she also had a warm and kind personality. I was proud to know her and I know many of you feel the same. A service will be held tomorrow at 1200 hours."

* * *

Travis had lost people in his life and the thoughts that ran through his head each time were never the same. He was on the bridge when Captain Archer sat in his chair without a word and asked him to open a ship-wide channel.

Travis had heard the rampant opinions about what had happened on Rigis after they witnessed the ring of fire devour the whole planet from Enterpriseâ€”but nothing had prepared him for what he'd just heard. Archer had left straight after delivering the message and sealed himself away in his room. Travis didn't blame him.

He'd been sitting in stunned silence while the news worked it's way into his brain. It was going to take a long time.

* * *

Jon had been playing the 'if' game for over an hour now.

_If I saw that building coming down and just warned them..._

_If they had kept up_

_If I handled the situation better_

_If I had seen the Nistet for what they really were_

_If I was a better Captain this wouldn't have happened._

"Captain." Came T'Pol's empty voice. Sometimes she really did make him sick. How could she be feeling nothing for Hoshi? They had been on numerous missions, by a stretch you could have called them friends, _but here she is, just like every other meaningless day._

"What is it?"

"We are receiving another a communication from Earth. You need to talk to Starfleet and explain what happened."

"What did happen?" Jon snapped. "One minute we're going down to a new planet to peacefully meet with a new race and the nextâ€”the next minute someone is killed." It was too soon to repeat her name. He felt as though if he even whispered it his voice would break and he'd start taking out his anger and sorrow on anything within arms reach. "I thought Phlox told you to rest."

"I will meditate later."

"I expect you to follow the Doctor's orders as much as I expect you to follow mine."

T'Pol nodded in acceptance. "Will you be speaking with Starfleet?" She questioned.

"Not yet. Not until I know exactly what happened."

* * *

It was strange, though he didn't much notice. The hum of the engines that had been like his own heartbeat for so long were gone but the silence that was clinging to the very air seemed to fit somehow. Something was no longer there, something that he took for granted and didn't really see until it left.

Tears had never been commonplace during Trip's life. It wasn't for any of the inane reasons that other boys did not cryâ€”a sign of weakness, a display of cowardice or some suchâ€”it was simply because he'd forgotten how. By some idiosyncratic fluke, Trip's eyes would not allow tears to fall. And so, as if it were a substitute for them as they died, unwept, he leapt from his bed in a storm of sudden rage and began to destroy the inanimate objects that had so many a time derided him with their worthlessness. The whim had arisen out of the blue, perhaps from the nest of undefined emotion subdued in his mind that he had been keeping for so long now.

The one sentence replaying over and over is his head was _Hoshi's dead and it's my fault._

In the blur of chaos and intense anger Trip's mind was moving at a slower pace to his body. He recorded his actions mentally, seconds after they occurred. The table that once sat by his bed was now strewn across the floor in pieces after he had hit it so hard against the door frame there was actually an indentation. The shelf upon the wall that housed a number of picture frames and books was now rid of them all, swept clear by Trip's wild, violent impulses.

Then the rage diminished as swiftly as it had arrived, like it were nothing more than a sudden torrential downpour. The detrimental feelings had not left, however, and instead morphed once more into a silent stupor after Trip's limbs gave way and allowed him to slide willingly down the wall.

He didn't know exactly how long he was sitting there but the next event to disturb his trance was a knock at the door. "Trip?"

Archer. He didn't knock again and entered. Trip suddenly felt a wave of stupidity. What was he thinking, trashing his room? What did he expect to achieve? He pried himself from the floor and began to pick up the mess, deliberately not meeting his Captain's eyes.

"What happened?" Jon asked, after seeing the disarray. He was careful to keep his voice devoid of emotion.

"I fell." Trip replied, his heart not in it and his mind elsewhere.

"It's not your fault, you know that." The other insisted, ignoring the poor explanation.

"I know." Trip lied.

"Do you?"

Trip couldn't bear to meet the man's eyes for more than a second, but it was enough.

"Nothing could have stopped what happened. Not you, not me, nothing." Jon finished.

"Really?!" Trip suddenly exploded, giving up his attempts to tidy the room. "Then do you mind tellin' me why I feel so goddam guilty? Why I keep living through it endlessly in my mind and thinking that maybe if I had done things differently Hoshi wouldn't be dead?"

"You had decisions to make and you made them. Hoshi made them too, and I made them. All of our choices defined what happened, not just yours and it's no-one's fault."

"I made the wrong choices."

"There are no wrong choices. Only different ones." Jon said, philosophically. In any other situation Trip would have pointed that fact out, maybe with a witty retort but this time it seemed appropriate. "You couldn't have foreseen what happened and you couldn't have changed it.

"You're right." Trip said but there was a change in his voice, in his disposition. Jon had noticed it because it had come so swiftly. The words he spoke were not of acceptance. The utterance wasn't a lie but it wasn't quite the truth either. It seemed as if Trip had come to a separate truth of his own. In a scathing tone, into the air he uttered; "I couldn't have changed it. You can't change time."

A twisted, unexpected smile formed upon his face. The words he spoke were to no-one but himself. Jon wouldn't understand. The words were the bitter 'truth' that he had always abided by and respected.

But Trip knew, as only he could, that time was entirely at his disposal.

* * *

Trip strode through the corridor's of Enterprise on a mission. He passed several  
crew-members, none whom looked brave enough to approach himâ€”which was a good thing. They might ask questions.

All he needed to do was get a shuttle and then fly far enough away from Enterprise to open a rift. If he timed it right and calibrated the sensors to exactly the right frequency, there shouldn't be a problem. It seemed simple enough.

Trip knew what he should've been thinking at that point: _What am I thinking? I'm breaking every rule there is, I can't go through with this..._ But his mind had come to the conclusion that the powers that be showed him the dream precisely because he had to change it. And that was what he planned to do.

"Commander."

_Damn it._ It was Malcolm. Trip noted the sinister-looking gash down the side of his face. Something else to feel guilty about. He might not be able to change that, but bringing Hoshi back would be more than enough compensation.

"I take it you didn't like the Doctor's orders either?" Reed asked.

_This is not the time Malcolm._ "Right." Trip agreed verbally. "I'd rather be busy."

"Same here. Where are you headed."

"Engineering." Trip blurted out before realising he was headed in the opposite direction. "I mean, uh, the shuttle bay." He covered quickly. "Controls are offline, I'm going to fix them."

"I suppose I'll see you at the service tomorrow then." Malcolm said awkwardly.

"Yeah." Trip replied, hoping that there wouldn't be any service after he was through. He knew Malcolm and Hoshi were close, hell, everyone who knew her couldn't help but fall in love with her beautiful personality. _Everything will be okay soon buddy._ Trip assured his friend mentally before he went on his way.   
Almost at the shuttle-bay. So far so good. There was no doubt Jon would soon know who had taken the shuttle on the little excursionâ€”half a dozen people had seen him on his way, and now Malcolm knew. It didn't matter though. They couldn't have any remote idea of what he was about to do and soon it wouldn't have happened anyway.

The two shuttles looked almost funny sitting side by side. One was covered with dust, grime and burns from the explosion while it's companion was in pristine condition, almost gleaming. Trip naturally went for the latter after making sure he could override the bay doors via a control panel.

The shuttle door closed, giving a sense of finality. The decision was made. No turning back.

_Actually that's exactly what I'll be doing._

* * *

"Sir their's an unauthorised shuttle leaving Enterprise."

"What? Who is it?" Travis asked. He'd been left in charge of the bridge in the Captain's absence.

"I don't know Sir, but they're heading into open space." The crewman manning T'Pol's station said.

"Open a channel. Enterprise to shuttle, return to the docking bay immediately."

"I can't do that Travis."

"Trip?" What was he doing?

"I'll be back before you know it."

"You weren't logged in for a shuttle launch Sir." Travis said, still taken aback.

"There was no time for that. I told you I won't be long."

"He's turned off the com." Another crewman told him.

Travis thought for a while and elected for the one option where he couldn't go wrong. "Get the Captain."

* * *

"Come on, where are you?" Trip asked. The rift had been slightly more difficult to find than he'd hoped, but he was close now.

"Trip, what are you doing?"

Archer.

He wouldn't be as easy to deal with as Travis. "How did you get the com back on?"

"That's not important right now. Come back to Enterprise."

"Like I told Travis, I'll be back before you know it." And with that, Trip pulled out his phase pistol and shot the com. That would take a little longer for the Captain to repair.

* * *

"Trip?"

"The com isn't responding. He must have destroyed it."

"What?!" Jon said, exasperated. He really did not want to deal with awol crew-members right now. But this was Trip. _What the hell is he doing?_ He thought for a moment about using the grapnels to pull the shuttle back inâ€”but what if Trip just needed to be alone? Jon wouldn't blame him for that. What if this was just his way of grieving? It was clear he blamed himself, especially after his odd reactions Jon had witnessed earlier.

"Alright, just follow him." Jon ordered. He could really use a psychologist onboard right about now, but he was Captain and this is what Captain's do. Even though sometimes being a Captain was the last thing Jon needed.

* * *

"Thanks Cap'n." Trip said to himself. If they were going to use the grapnels, they'd have done it by now.

Bleep bleep bleep...

_Finally!_ If Trip's calculations and sensor reading were correct (and they almost always were) there was a rift just metres ahead. He stopped the shuttle (The Enterprise stopped too.) And recalibrated the sensors to the precise frequency. This needed to be accurate, or Trip would be responsible for a hell of a lot more than one death.

_There. Perfect._

It was done, the sensors were at exactly the right frequency to open the rift. So why was Trip hesitating? Had he forgotten why he was doing this? _Hoshi. Hoshi is dead and that is unacceptable._

So he did it. The sensors scanned the area that the rift was in and slowly but surely the purple energy of it's electrical tendrils began to whip the sky.

* * *

"What's he doing now?" Jon asked.

"He's just stopped." Travis replied. Was he going to turn around and come back? Had he come to his senses? But the shuttle wasn't turning, it was still. Clearly not. "He's scanning the area in front of the shuttleâ€”but he's using a strange frequency..." The ensign trailed off when he saw...whatever the hell it was he was looking at. It looked like some kind of purple lightning, suspended in space. It was beautiful in a weird, unnatural sort of way.

"What is that?" Jon breathed. He'd never seen anything like it.

"Readings are all over the place, Captain. Nothing is making any sense." A random crewman told him.

"Captain the shuttle is moving towards the...the anomaly!" Travis proclaimed. He didn't quite know what to call the sudden crackling light that had appeared, but whatever it was, it looked dangerous and Trip was headed straight for it. What was he doing? It looked like he knew it was thereâ€”it appeared directly in front of the shuttle. Had he created it?

"Is there any way to contact him?" Jon asked desperately, knowing the answer already.

"No, Sir."

"Fire grapnels, now!" He quickly decided.

"It's too late. He's...he's gone."

"Was the shuttle destroyed?" Jon asked Malcolm, who had arrived moments ago and was checking and double-checking the panel in front of him.

"I'm not reading any debris and the anomaly has disappeared."

 

"Disappeared? There must be something there." Jon asserted. Shuttles don't just vanish into nothing.

"No Sir, there's nothing. No debris from the shuttle, no readings whatsoever from the anomaly." Malcolm explained. "Trip is gone."

* * *

Navigating a time rift was a tricky and insanely accurate skill. It didn't help that Trip had only been through one once before, many years ago. To make matters even worse, his ribs were making it increasingly more difficult to breathe.

It came back to him promptly thought, and he soon found the correct path that would take him directly to where and when he wanted. In theory.

Sure enough, a blinding light caused Trip to shield his eyes. When it dies down he was no longer in the shuttle. He was on Rigis Jata. It workedâ€”he was back. The place was correct, he was in the alley where the Nistet confronted him and Hoshi. As for the timing...it was obviously before the explosion, which was needless to say, a good sign. There was no fire damage and the sound of distant screams and urgent cries were present.

But precisely when was he? His question was answered when he heard a familiar voice. Hoshi. Her voice was like a sweet sonnet after the choked whisper that Trip had heard from her last, which was now embedded deeply into his memory.

"Trip? Commander, where..." She was saying. When Trip went through the rift and showed up here, his other self would have disappeared. It must have been a strange sight but Trip couldn't help that.

"Hoshi." He said as he rounded the corner. On seeing her face he couldn't help but allow his face to break into a massive smile. Her warm and beautiful features, albeit contorted with confusion, looked angelic.

"That was so strange..."

"What was?" Trip asked, as innocently as he could muster.

"I was talking to you and you just...you were just gone."

Trip stumbled, but he was more than used to covering for himself. "Uh, you must have blacked out. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, fine...I think." Hoshi replied as she looked around with a furrowed brow, trying to recall what happened.

"Come on we have to leave." Trip said, the reasons for his being there flooding back.

"But which way?" She asked.

Trip had forgotten in all his grief how scary the situation had been. But this time Trip knew which way to the shuttle and they needed to move it if they were going to get back before the Nistet arrived.

"You, over there!" Came that familiar cry. The Nistet were already coming.

"Hoshi, go hide behind that building and don't come out until I tell you."

"But Commander..." Hoshi began.

"That's an order ensign, do you understand me?" Trip countered quickly.

"Yes Sir." The other acknowledged, and moved away.

"Not until I get you." He called back. He didn't want her seeing what he was about to do. It would raise too many questions.

"We heard you came here in a starship."

 

"Actually I came here through time." Trip whispered as he plunged his hands through the creatures head.

Hoshi was not usually one to disobey a direct order, but how could she hide after the scream she just heard? On peering round the corner and swarm of disturbing and confounding images invaded her vision.

Her immediate thought was that she was hallucinatingâ€”after all, she'd seen Trip disappear, then reappear a few feet ahead, and that was impossible. She must have blacked out, like Trip said. But his wasn't as easy to explain. Trip actually seemed to have his hands embedded in a Nistet's skull. The point of 'entry' was blurred, like an invisible force was warping the space around it. The alien was roaring in pain, two others were running. What was she looking at?  
Trip then pulled his arms from the Nistet and it slumped to the ground. Hoshi sensed he was going to turn round, and quickly returned to her previous positionâ€”from which she wouldn't have seen anything. Was this why Trip had told her to wait there? _What am I thinking? It's Trip! I must be ill or something. Those toxins we all got jabs for...maybe I'm experiencing side-effects._

"Hoshi, let's go."

Hoshi was on the verge of telling Trip her theory when she realised she'd disobeyed a direct order. Perhaps she might have pondered for a while longer if it weren't for another quake, and all the danger they were still in.

They seemed to walk for miles, through endless crumbling alleyways and seas of rubble. Trip appeared to know exactly where he was going and at one point even managed to go around an area in which a quake destroyed another building. Hoshi could stay quiet no longer. Maybe talking would get her mind of the fact that her legs were about to buckle under her own weight.

"Commander, I think those injections Doctor Phlox gave us might have some side-effects." She said between heavy breaths.

"What do you mean? You alright?" Trip asked. He didn't stop, or even slow. It was just a quick glance back.

"I'm not sure." Hoshi continued. "I think I had a hallucination."

This time Trip did stop. "What did you see?" The question was more focussed than she'd been expecting.

"I saw you, in that alley with three Nistet. You had your hands, uh, inside it's head." Hoshi only then realised how ridiculous that sounded. Trip raised his eyebrows.

"I think the sooner we get to that shuttle the better. I've been feeling dizzy ever since we got those jabs. Maybe the side-effects are different for everyone." Trip assured.

_Of course that's what happened. Had she actually thought that what she'd seen was real? But why wouldn't Trip mention the dizziness before? Oh, of course. Because he's Trip._

Still, the uneasy feelings wouldn't leave Hoshi, they were merely shunted aside by the chaos that surrounded them as they ran back to the shuttle.

* * *

_Where are they? They should be here..._ Malcolm thought. His head was killing him, but he was too worried to care about that. Trip and Hoshi were nowhere to be seen.

"They should be here by now." Jon said, only moments before two figures appeared through the billowing clouds of dust.

"Are you alright?" Jon asked as soon as his two crewmembers were close enough to hear.

Trip took a great deal of pleasure in replying; "We're fine."

* * *

It took a degree of discipline for Trip to keep the triumphant grin from his face while everyone was being checked over once more by Phlox. The others were still upset, this time about the destruction of Regis and it's population. Trip didn't much care though. From what he'd seen the Nistet weren't very nice people at all.

"That should do it. I don't think you have concussion, but you should rest for a few days." Phlox said to Malcolm. He was a lot more chirpy than Trip remembered from the last time. "Captain, are you alright?" He moved on.

"I'm fine." Jon answered.

"Commander?"

"I'm good."

Phlox scanned them anyway, as he did before.

"Hm." Phlox exclaimed. "Mr Tucker you have three broken and two fractured ribs..." He said as he scanned Trip. "but they appear to have already been treated." He finished, apparently amused by the mystery. Trip could have kicked himself for not remembering. With all that had happened he'd forgotten to cover his frequent slips. And they had been a lot more frequent of late. He stayed quiet and let the others come to their own conclusions, but it seemed Jon wasn't going to let it go.

"Already been treated? By who? And how did you get broken ribs?"

"Must have been when the building collapsed and split us up." Trip said, trying as best he could to look as bewildered as the others.

"You don't remember?" Jon asked. It didn't sound like something one would forget.

Trip almost broke into a sweat before he remembered the story he'd spun about the injections and their side-effects. "The injections you gave me and Hoshi seemed to have side-effects. Hoshi was having hallucinations and I was feeling dizzy."

"Why didn't you mention this before?"

"Memory lapse?" Trip ventured carefully.

"I'm sorry Sir," Hoshi started. "I didn't experience symptoms for a couple of hours after the jabs. I guess by the time we got back to the shuttle I'd forgotten." Hoshi apologised but she was still wary of Trip's explanations. When she'd seen him disappear it didn't feel like a hallucination. Were hallucinations supposed to feel that way? She didn't recall him getting hurt either.

Trip tried to evade the situation and made a stab at changing the subject. "Listen, I could really use some rest. Cap'n do you mind if I take a coupla hours off?"

"Sure Trip." Jon returned. Trip could tell that Jon suspected something. He couldn't possibly suspect the truth, but Trip feared that questions would be coming his way later. Hopefully not the right ones.

"I think that's a marvellous suggestion." Phlox declared. "I would strongly recommend you all get some rest."

* * *

Hoshi walked back to her quarters with a face contorted with confusion-lines. Somehow she couldn't manage to shake the strange occurrences of late. And they all had something to do with Trip. Should she tell someone about her doubts? Or was paranoia another side-effect? What would Captain Archer say if she went to him?

Then in a blur of her own thoughts, Hoshi bumped into someone. Malcolm.

"Oh, sorry Lieutenant." She said, flustered.

"It's ok. How are you feeling?" He asked politely.

"Fine. You?" Hoshi inquired, after her eyes drifted to the nasty wound that masked one side of Malcolm's face.

"Fine." He smiled. "I was just about to go to the mess hall. Care to join me?"

Hoshi hadn't really been thinking about it, but her stomach was crying out for food. "Sure." She replied happily, then realised that Reed would be the perfect person to tell what happened.

* * *

"He had his hands in someone's head?"

"I know it sounds completely crazy. But it didn't feel like a hallucination."

"Hallucinations rarely do."

Hoshi had told Malcolm everything. He hadn't looked at her as if she were crazy, so that was something. He did, however, look somewhat amused.

"But why would he tell me to hide in the first place? I mean, what really happened with those Nistet?"

"I don't know. What do you think is going on? I mean, if it wasn't the injections giving you side-effects, what was it?"

"I have no idea. It's just bugging me, I can't figure it out." Hoshi finished. She looked down at her plate and realised she'd eaten a huge amount of food. She let out a sigh. "I think I'll go and see Phlox. Maybe he can tell me it was all my imagination."

* * *

"Ensign Sato. Shouldn't you be resting?" The Denobulan asked cheerfully when Hoshi entered the medical-bay.

"I can't sleep." She returned. True, she hadn't tried yet, but how could she with all the unanswered questions she had rolling around inside her head?

"I'd offer you something to help, but with the substance I gave you earlier I wouldn't want to risk it."

"About thatâ€”" Hoshi began. Phlox had started the topic for her. "Did you find anything odd about the injections we all had?"

"How do you mean?"

"I was just wondering about Commander Tucker. He had broken ribs. Do you think this substance could have healed them somehow?"

"I very much doubt it. I gave all of the away team Tetexia, the ingredients of which don't hold very interesting traits."

"Then how would you explain his ribs healing?"

"If didn't know any better, I'd say that I repaired the damage myself. But I think I'd recall something like that." Phlox said. "I'd have no choice but to put it down to medical phenomenon."

"Right." Hoshi said, trying to get her thoughts into some kind of order. "Well, if you find out anything interesting, will you tell me?" She asked.

"There is something else Ensign." Phlox mentioned. Hoshi waited. "I've researching Tetexia and I can't find any medical reason for the symptoms yourself and Commander Tucker claim to have had."

_It was Trip that did all the claiming._

"Thank-you Doctor." Hoshi turned to leave, but before she did, a call stopped her.

"Would all senior staff report to the bridge." T'Pol's voice came over the com.

"Does no-one take my suggestions to rest seriously?" Phlox said, exasperated, but the room was already empty.

* * *

_What now?_ Trip thought to himself as he made his way to the bridge. He just wanted to sleep, and get his life back to normal. (Or as normal as his ever got)  
When he arrived on the bridge everyone except the Captain was there. Jon arrived promptly though and everyone waited for T'Pol to tell them why they'd been disturbed.

"What's the matter T'Pol? Phlox thinks we should all be resting." Jon said.

"I thought you should see this." The Vulcan announced, and moved out of the way of the viewscreen.

Trip froze in horror when his eyes met the twinkling stars and darkness of spaceâ€”because painted upon the scene was a purple riftâ€”and it was more than ten times the size of the one he had opened.

* * *

"What is it?"

_No, no this isn't happening. I was careful, I did everything right._

"The sensors readings aren't making any sense. They keep changing."

_I was so careful!_

"We haven't been able to collect anyâ€”"

"Hang on...I'm getting some clear energy readings."

_Energy readings? The rift shouldn't be giving off any clear readings..._

"There appears to be a ship coming through the anomaly.

_Oh no..._

On the bridge, all but one person tried to make some kind of assessment of the anomaly that had formed before Enterprise. The exception was still reeling from the mere sight of it.

"A ship?" Jon questioned. Perhaps the anomaly was some kind of new technology that enabled ships to travel. "Anyone we know?"

By the look on Malcolm's face, he didn't know whether to be impressed or confused. "I've never seen anything like it." He started.

_Well, you wouldn't have._

"The technology is incredible."

"There is no record in the Vulcan database of any such ship." T'Pol added.

The ship was now visible on the screen. It was considerably larger than Enterprise and sported a dark gold sheen. Its smooth surface glistened purple as the rift flickered.

"Hail them." Jon ordered, his excitement showing.

"No!" Trip blurted out. He felt the eyes of every single person in the room try to dig into his head.

"Trip?"

_Fantastic. How are you going to explain this one?_

"Sir, they're powering weapons." Malcolm quickly interjected the momentary awkward silence.

"Polarise the hull plating." Jon ordered on instinct. The hull plating, however did not seem to affect the horrendously violent jolt that came so quickly no-one had a chance to brace.

"Evasive manoeuvres!" Jon yelled. He'd been in enough battles to know that another hit like that would cripple Enterprise.

"Engines are offline!" Travis shouted over the noise of the numerous minor explosions around them. "We're dead in the water Sir" He went on.

"I'm detecting new lifesigns onboard. They're transporting over." Malcolm said, alarmed. He hadn't felt this violated since their unknown enemy dropped in a few months or so back. They had beaten them in the end but these people had far superior weaponry. And just how did Trip know they were hostile? In truth he hadn't given what Hoshi had told him a second thought but now doubts were surfacing.

"I better get to engineering" Trip muttered quietly and slipped out. In reality he didn't know what else to do. Right now the only person he knew how to be was Charles Tucker III, chief engineer.

Hoshi's mind was working overtime. First aliens coming through a strange spacial anomaly, attacking and trying to dockâ€”and Trip's outburst? She was sure now more than ever that he was hiding something. His never-ending explanations were too much. The two incidences on Regis, the fact that his ribs had been broken and spontaneously healed, his lie about the so-called side-effects. The answers were right in front of her but she couldn't put them together.

Right now Hoshi and the rest of the crew had more pressing things to worry about.

"Weapons?"

"All major systems, bar life-support, are offline Captain. That includes weapons, engines, hull plating and communications."

"Malcolm, I want you to distribute weapons to as many crew-members as you can, tell them what's going on and to have their phase pistols set to stun. Go."

The orders were set. T'Pol, and Malcolm left the bridge with most of the other crew present. "Hoshi, go with Malcolm. You may have to communicate with these aliens."

In truth, Hoshi was part scared and part relieved. Malcolm was the only person who even remotely understood her confusions about Trip. She had seen his face when Trip had his slight outburst just moments ago. It had not gone unnoticed.  
When the two were done giving orders to a group of crewmen, Hoshi turned to Reed.

"Do you believe me now?"

Malcolm stared Hoshi in the eye. The things she had told him were so bizarre and farfetched. What could they possibly mean? "I don't know what to believe." He replied honestly. "Why don't we go and ask Commander Tucker?"

* * *

"Listen up people, first priority is to get weapons back online. I want four or five of you to arm yourselves and guard the entrances. Do it now."

Engineering staff sprung into action, following orders without hesitation.

_You've done it this time._

The inner argument Trip was going through was a exhaustive one. His thoughts were torn with guilt and denial. He scathed himself for messing up, but defending his actions at the same time. _How was I supposed to know this was going to happen?_

At that moment the doors on the far side of the room opened and two of the more jumpy crewmen pointed their weapons at Hoshi and Reed, who had just entered.

"Lieutenant, I could use your help bringing weapons back online."

"I think we both deserve an explanation first." Malcolm said.

_Uh-oh. Not a good thing._

"What are you talking about? Come on, I need your help." Trip endeavoured, once again playing the innocent. Hoshi's childlike eyes gazed into his in an unyielding manner.

"Commander I respect you, you know that, but I think you know something about these aliens that you aren't saying."

Trip did something that he was not proud of. For the first time that it had ever been necessary, he pulled rank to protect his identity. To be honest, no-one had ever come close to discovering the truth and he doubted Hoshi or Reed had.  
Nevertheless the situation demanded that he bought time to get rid of inquiring minds and the hostiles at hand. "Listen to me." He whispered. "This is no time to be making wild accusations. I don't care what you think you know, I am you're commanding officer and I am ordering you to get the hell out of here and do your jobs."

The two officers looked stunned, not to mention let down. Hoshi's eyes glistened with hurt Trip supposed they had never actually been threatened by a superior officer before. Whatever suspicions they had, were now ten times as strong.

* * *

T'Pol handed Jon a gun. "The hostile's intentions are unknown. They may want control of the ship." She explained, setting her own pistol to stun.

"You know, this whole silent enemy thing is getting really tiring." He joked in return. It went unappreciated.

Then in a whirl of chaos and noise the bridge was overcome. The doors opened and four aliens barged their way in wielding large handheld weapons, while three more transported behind the trapped crew.

T'Pol fired immediately but to no effect. It seemed phase pistols had no effect. Jon had time to change his pistol's setting to kill, but this merely swayed one of the gargantuan creatures (Complete with tusks and bulky tails.)

T'Pol went down when one of the aliens struck her hard across the face. Travis was shot almost instantly. In a matter of seconds no-one but Archer was left standingâ€”with seven guns aimed directly at him.

* * *

Trip worked furiously at the weapons console. His only hope was to destroy the shipâ€”but he knew deep down that Enterprise had nothing that could possibly combat the Kett's technology. And then there was the 'hostiles' on Enterprise already. God knows what damage they were doing, who they were slaughtering.  
 _You caused this. You are the only person who can change it._

Then a chillingly loud voice came echoing through the com, reaching Trip's ears like a thousand ice-cold spears.

"Kamidari. Show yourself or your Captain dies. You have ten minutes."

* * *

"Listen to me, I don't know what a Kamidari is but I'm pretty sure we don't have one on Enterprise." Jon tried. Maybe these aliens had the wrong ship. The notion wasn't entirely dismissible.

"Quiet!" His captor shouted. Jon was getting real fed up with meeting new species that always wanted to kill him. He wondered what feat of ingenuity had kept him alive all this time. Fate? Good Captaining skills? Dumb luck? Whatever it was Jon sure hoped that it wasn't going to fail him now, seeing as he doubted sincerely that the aliens would get what they were looking for.

* * *

Ten minutes? That wasn't enough time to make a decision like this...But what choice did he haveâ€”let the Captain die or reveal himself to the entire crew, seriously screwing up everything he'd worked so hard to achieve. Then again, hadn't he already done that by rescuing Hoshi?

Trip could not let Jon die. That much was obvious. So how could the situation be remedied? Then it came to him.

Make up a new choice.

* * *

"Kamidari! You have less than one minute!"

Jon was getting slightly worried now. If whatever, or whoever these people wanted didn't come through that door, would they really kill him? Considering their non-hesitant attack on Enterprise when they had first appeared, it was certainly plausible. But Jon wouldn't go out without a fight. There were only seven or so of them. With large weapons. And armour. Who were considerably larger and stronger than he.

No problem.

"Seems your Kamidari is not very good at protecting you Archer." The leader of the aliens scoffed.

"Hold it!"

Trip?! What was he doing? Saving him, no doubt. _Well he better have a damn good plan._

"I'm who you're looking for. Now let him go."

The leader of the Kett looked Trip up and down. "Prove you are Kamidari."

"If you say so." Trip mumbled. He turned to a random Kett and stared him in the eye, as he had done on Regis Jata with the Nistet. Then he willed the alien to spray his companions with gunfire. "Captain, get down!" Trip shouted, as he also dived for cover. When the Kett were nothing but corpses littering the floor, he forced their killer to turn the gun on himself. Soon the chaos was over.

"Come on, we have to take back the ship." Trip told Jon.

"What? Not until you tell me what the hell just happened!"

"I don't know, I guess one of 'em just went nuts."

"That's a damn lie, Trip! It was you. You did this."

"Cap'n I don't know what you're talking about." Trip lied. It was worth one last shot at playing the innocent. But Jon was a smart man, and Trip was pretty sure he wouldn't back down.

"I think you do. And I think I deserve some answers."

He was right. Jon deserved to know the truth, after all it was Trip that put him in danger, put the whole ship in danger. But first priority was to eliminate that danger. "Not now. First we have to close that rift, and destroy that damn Kett ship."

"Kett? These aliens? They came through this...this rift?" Jon said. He was having trouble coping with what he had just witnessed.

"That's right. Please, I'll tell you everything, I promise, Cap'n. But first we have to close that rift or it's going to get bigger, and more ships will come."

"What do they want?" Jon asked. If aliens were going to destroy Enterprise, he wanted to know why.

_Time to spill your guts Charles Tucker_ Trip sighed and looked into his friends' eyes.

"Me."

* * *

"You. All these aliens, that huge ship, they want you?"

"There's no time for explanations right now, we have to take back the ship!"

"Damn it Trip you are gonna tell me what the hell is going on right now. I have been you're Captain and your friend for too long. Don't lie to me. You owe me that much."

Trip couldn't agree more. After everything they had been through, Trip had hated lying to his friends so much. But the worst part was lying to Jon. He was putting his life on the line practically everyday, and still found the time to be a good friend and a courageous man. Trip had always thought what he was doing was for Jon's protection, but what could there be that his Captain could not defeat? It was time to tell everything. Time to make up for all the years of deception.

"You heard the Kett talk about a Kamidari, right?" He opened, starting at the very beginning.

"Right." Jon acknowledged.

"That's me. My race. I'm not human, Jon."

For a moment Archer couldn't form a single word. "Not human?"

"Well, I am, and I'm not. The Kamidari are a race of watchers. We watch over time, making sure nothing is changed." Trip tried to put his existence into a simple sentence

"You mean like Daniels?"

Trip managed a slight laugh. "We're bigger than Daniels. We oversee everything, I mean, them, the Suliban, everything. The only people who know we exist are the Kett."

"The aliens that want to kill you."

"That's right. There are rifts through time, that's how the Kamidari travel, and when the Kett discovered the rifts they started interfering. They attacked key elements in the time-line and the future was drastically changed. We had to put it right then send people to guard the pivotal places and beings. I was sent to guard Enterprise." Trip could see the look of utter betrayal forming in Jon's face. It seemed the news was just about seeping into Jon's mind. "Nothing about our friendship was fake Captain." Trip insisted.

"I'm not your Captain. I don't even know who you are." Jon scorned. He believed the story, he had to after everything he'd seen, but he couldn't accept it.

"I'm still me! I never lied to you, I just...hid certain truths." Trip said carefully.

"That's the same as lying Trip." Jon looked to the side and laughed a hurt laugh. "I don't suppose Charles Tucker is your real name."

"Actually we don't use names. But I have been Charles Tucker for so long, it's who I am."

"I can't even begin to understand who you are. You know what, I can't deal with this right now, time-travelling aliens are trying to destroy my ship." Jon spat out the last sentence. It was clear who he blamed for everything. "Just tell me how we get rid of the Kett."

Trip didn't want Jon to hate him. He wanted to apologise and explain why he had lied, and why everything was happening, but it seemed Jon needed a little more time. "Their leader is dead. If we tell them that, they'll go back to their ship and destroy Enterprise. But if we destroy their ship, others will come through the rift."

"So what do we do?"

"We have to destroy their ship, then close the rift before reinforcement's arrive."

"We can't combat that kind of technology."

"Sure we can."

* * *

The bridge of Enterprise aired a bizarre atmosphere. Three crew-members would never look at Trip in the same way again. Others retained their blissful ignorance while Trip felt nothing but loneliness and remorse amongst the people he called his closest friends.

Trip nodded at the distant Archer when he'd finished locking the weapons onto the Kett ship's weak point. Hoshi opened a com channel and Jon began his message.

"This is Captain Archer, the guy whose ship it is your trespassing on. Your leader has been killed, I suggest you leave my vessel and be on your way, or we will destroy your ship."

"All alien life-forms have been transported off the ship Sir." Malcolm declared.  
The crew waited to see if the Kett would leave, or fire, like Trip had said. Sure enough..."They're powering up weapons."

"Fire." Jon ordered.

In a riot of fire the Kett ship exploded slowly, deck by deck. The weak point Trip had targeted was evidently correct. There was no time for relief, or even time to watch the fires die down. It was time to close the rift. Jon stood up.  
"Commander Tucker." He urged. Trip rose. The brutal formality stabbed him through the heart.

* * *

The walk to the shuttle-pod was silent, though the two people onboard had a thousand a one things to say to each other. To Trip's surprise it was Jon that finally broke it. "How did the Kett find these rifts through time?"

"Same way we did." Trip replied. "The rifts are scattered around space, all you need to do is scan them using an exact frequency."

"If they're that easy to find why hasn't anyone opened one accidentally?"

"Only the Kamidari know the frequency to scan. The Kett find the rifts that Kamidari have already found and opened. Once they have been opened you can travel anywhere and time you want."

"So the rift here, nowâ€”someone already opened it?"

"I opened it." Trip knew what question would follow next, and the ones after that. The chain was a predictable one.

"Why?" Jon asked.

"Something happened...I had to change it." Maybe that much information would suffice. But knowing Jon, and the human species in general, they were very curious. And sometimes they wanted to know more than they should.

"The Kett interfered before?" Jon continued. Clearly the vague explanation was not enough.

"No." Trip answered. Stalling for time with Jon was like trying to prevent time from even passingâ€”not impossible but highly difficult.

"Then why? Surely you can't just go around changing time, that goes against everything you've told me your species stands for."

"I made a mistake. The rift should have closed behind me." Trip was sure these revelations were not helping to mend his shattered relationship with his Captain.

Jon finally came to an accurate conclusion. "This is your fault isn't it? You opened the rift, you weren't supposed to and the Kett found it. That's why they're here, looking for you."

"Yes." Trip said simply.

"What could possibly have happened that could make you risk all this?"

Trip was silent. If he told Jon, he was sure to understand, but he'd already broken every rule he lived by. Then again, what was one more? At least Jon would understand. "Rigis Jata." He began.

"Something else happened? Something worse than what did happen?"

"Someoneâ€”Hoshiâ€”she was killed. I tried to protect her but...I failed."

Jon didn't speak for a moment. For that moment he understood Trip's motives. He didn't entirely understand Trip himself, but his motives were clear. If someone Jon cared about was killed and he had the chance to change itâ€”if the opportunity was there...

They had reached the shuttle bay. Jon had some of the most important questions answered, now the mission was at hand. Time was of the essence and the trip to the shuttle bay had actually been a short one. Jon realised he had bombarded Trip with questions and he had answered them all in the time it took to reach their destination.

When they were in the shuttle, leaving Enterprise, Jon made another inquiry. "You were supposed to tell me any of this, were you?"

"To tell you the truth I was getting real tired of covering my tracks."

"Your ribs." Jon said bluntly, as if just reaching a conclusion. "They were already healed."

Trip smiled. He knew full well that Jon would have figured him out eventually. If not now, some other time, maybe years from now, maybe a week. Maybe Malcolm and Hoshi would have told Jon what they knew, and together they'd solve the mystery. He supposed that was all changed now.

The conversation faded as the shuttle approached the growing purple rift. "Are you ready?" Trip asked.

"Sensor are at the right frequency." Jon replied. It seemed farfetched to him that you could close a rift the same way you could open one. But Trip was apparently the expert in these matters, and despite everything that had happened, Jon still trusted him.

"One last question." Jon said quickly, as if he would never get to ask another. "Surely you're just being here would change things? You've already affected so many events, and people's lives, how can you have stayed impartial to the time-line?"

Trip smiled again. Jon always wanted that little bit more. "You know that myth that the tiniest thing can affect the time-line?" Jon nodded slightly. "It's not that true."

Jon actually laughed in astonishment. "Not that true?!"

"The elders gave me my orders more than twenty years ago, they know more than I do. Now are we gonna close this rift or not?" Trip smiled.

"Initiating sensors now."

The effect wasn't entirely as they had hoped. Tendrils of electrical energy grew longer and thrashed at the sky more violently. The rift was still growing, faster than before.

"It's too bigâ€”the rift is too big, it can't be closed." Trip said in a panic.

"What do we do?"

Before Trip could gave an answer (In actual fact he didn't know what to do anyway), three Kett ships came through the rift.

Jon turned to Trip and stated more clearly. "Trip, what do we do now?"

But once again his question went unanswered, this time for an entirely different reason. When Trip turned to his Captain with a look of dismay, he disappeared.  
During his last, confused thoughts, Jon saw the tendril of purple energy snap at him, and felt it strike the shuttle with force. As he and the ship were enveloped in the purple light, Jon was knocked unconscious with questions that might never go answered.

* * *

Trip found himself surrounded in a white light he had almost forgotten. He had not been to his home plain since his first orders. He had hoped he would return under better circumstances. He felt out of place in his human form surrounded by the non-physical presence of the elders.

"I'm sorry. I made a terrible mistake." Trip started. It seemed like the most obvious thing to say.

"The human emotion known as compassion. It is a powerful force and a compelling drive. We know this much." The merged voices of the elders spoke into his mind. "Your actions are understood."

"I caused so much trouble."

"Kamidari are not infallible." Came the reply. Trip smiled internally at the saying. It bore much resemblance to the human oneâ€”'Everyone makes mistakes.' The word understatement sprang to mind.

"How can I fix it? I tried to close the rift but it was too large."

"We will take care of everything." The voices replied.

"And me?"

"You are to continue your place on the starship."

"Thank-you. But ...what aboutâ€”"

"We will restore all that must be restored."

"And Hoshi?"

"Everything will be as it should be."

Trip didn't like the sound of that but his protest had barely begun, when he found himself in his quarters. When was it? Had he returned to before the Rigis Jata mission, or was it after Hoshi's death?

"Archer to Trip, report to the bridge."

* * *

Trip didn't like not knowing the date one bit as he made his way to the bridge. If it was before the Rigis Jata mission, was he expected to allow Hoshi to die once more? He wasn't sure if he was capable of such a terrible act.

When he reached his destination Trip found Hoshi sitting at her station. T'Pol and Jonathon were standing around the main console and Trip's heart fell. He approached the station trying to remain calm, as he awaited T'Pol to start talking about Rigis Jata's atmosphere and the Nistet.

"Something very, uh, odd is going on Trip." Jon began.

_What? This isn't the way the conversation should be starting..._ When Trip looked at the console in front of him, he saw not Rigis, but a strange anomaly. It wasn't the rift, thank god, but it was indeed very odd. The date in the corner read July 14th. It was after Rigis, after the rift opened and after everything that Trip had caused. What were the elders playing at? Had they made a mistake? Trip decided to play it by ear.

"What's goin' on?"

"It seems the entire crew have been unconscious for 24 hours."

_24 hours? The mission never happened! The elders fixed it, and Hoshi is still alive, everything's right!_

"Unconscious? Why?" Trip asked, securing his happiness to the confides of his own mind.

"This is why." Jon said, gesturing to the console, and on it, the anomaly. "It was here a few moments ago, then disappeared. This is the only information we received before it just vanished."

Trip said the only thing he could think of. "Weird."

"Yeah." Jon smiled. "I'm sending a full report to Starfleet. We'll figure it out somehow. Anyway, the, uh, next item on the agenda is Rigis Jata."

"Rigis Jata?"

"A planet nearby, was apparently destroyed while we were unconscious. We plan to find out what happened. Looks like we'll be in this system for a while."

Trip didn't mind at all. As long as they left with a full crew, Trip didn't care if they stayed for a month.

"Well I better get to engineering, check everything's okay." Trip announced, and left the room feeling very much like grinning.

Jon watched his chief engineer and friend walk away in a very different light. He didn't know exactly what had happened. The last thing he remembered was begin in the shuttle with Trip, then him disappearing and the ship getting hit by the rift. The next thing, Jon was waking up in his room, apparently the next day.  
He guessed the 'anomaly' was some kind of ruse to cover everything up. As for no-one else remembering, that was a mystery. Why was Jon the only one that recalled? Because he was struck by the rift's energy? Whatever happened, Jon made a conscious decision not to tell anyone, not even Trip.

He understood why it was so important for Trip to remain hidden, so to speak, and he understood why he did what he did. As for the years of deception, he supposed he could forgive. After all, Trip hadn't really lied, he'd just hid certain truths.


End file.
